What I'm Told: vs. What I hear:
We should hire someone to help you clean the house.
You aren't cleaning the house well enough so I have to pay someone hard earned money to do it.
You look good today honey.
I don't hear my husband tell me I look good; I hear all the other people in my life {who don't matter} tell me that I am fat, ugly, and should shave my upper lip.
Let's spend time together as a family.
Drop everything you are doing and do what I want to do instead.
You are amazing for giving me this awesome son.
I love you because you gave me a son, not necessarily because you are you.You look great! You're doing a good job losing weight.
You are so fat. Do better and lose more.
Let's go for a walk; I want to spend time with you doing something healthy.
Let's go for a walk; your fat and need to quit being lazy.Now of course, those aren't the exact words my husband uses... but I know that's what he means and he confirms that that is what he meant. Why can't I believe him? How do I forget what I've been told for the last 25 years and listen to him? Why do I choose to believe the hurtful things and not the loving things? He could tell me {and does} every day that he loves me, that I'm beautiful and special to him but it's the one critique from him that I hear.
