Monday, August 16, 2010

Complete Breakdown

I am having a complete breakdown.  I was hungry, hot and tired.  I was trying hard to keep LB entertained so he wouldn't cry.  I wanted to try feeding him 4 bottles, instead of his normal 6, and a whole jar of baby food today.  Meanwhile, the puppy poops on the floor.  I put the baby on the floor, he screams.  I grab the puppy and spank him, even though I had told DH I didn't think we should do that, then I put him in his pen.  The puppy is crying, the baby is crying, I fight back the urge to cry.  I decide to just make the baby another bottle... no use in both of us starving.

Then I start crying.  I am starving despite eating two hot dogs and a cup of sweet peas for lunch.  It's still 2 hours until dinner.  I made two cheese sandwiches, crying hysterically the whole time, thinking I need to be hospitalized because I am crying over something so stupid as a cheese sandwich.  I felt like a failure for eating them despite my just saying I shouldn't so I can lose weight.  Now I just feel kinda stupid for feeling that way and posting it here... but I figured I should be honest.  *sigh*
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