Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Major Stress

Today is not starting out well.  I had to call our ticket airline and make sure we wouldn't be harassed by their attendants for bringing LB's car seat on board like I have heard from several women who flew out of our airport on this airline.  The lady I talked to last night was not reassuring at all saying that "the stewardesses don't like car seats on the plane anyways" and "If you put a seat belt on him it is just as good."  Well first off, I don't give a damn what your flight attendants like or not.  When the safety of my child is concerned, I will choose him over your convenience any time.  And secondly... seriously?!  You think you can strap a 1 year old into an airplane seat belt and he won't crawl out of it, or fly out of it in heavy turbulence?  Right...

The man I talked to today knew the airline policies (as they are stated online) and reassured me that if there is a seat open (because my parents won't buy LB a ticket) we can bring his car seat on the plane.  The first 4 hour flight is completely full... I hope we don't get hassled.  This whole trip is stressing me out.

LB has been screaming all morning because I'm not preparing his bottle fast enough for his liking.  When I got off the phone and he was still screaming I yelled at him.  He has no idea why I am upset, and truthfully I don't think he is old enough to know that screaming is not an acceptable means of asking for something.  But I couldn't stop myself from getting angry.  To top that off, he is almost one year old and I'm feeling pressured to have him eating finger foods and mushed table food.  He can't even eat a soaked cheerio without choking and throwing up.  He is not going to be eating ground up ham or turkey for Christmas but my mom is going to insist that he does.  I do not want to deal with that!

This whole trip is stressing me out but we have to go.  I asked DH last night if he wanted to stay home, but he said we need to get down to see his grandparents.  It may be our last chance to see them and LB's only chance to meet them.  I just don't want to deal with my mom's opinions on LB's eating and walking.  I feel like I am constantly defending myself with her and it is so tiring.  I wish she would just keep it to herself and bitch to her friends about how horrible a mother I am if she feels the need (which I'm sure she does).  She is constantly telling me what someone at her office thinks about LB's eating and crawling (before he learned at 8 months) so obviously she is telling them she thinks he is behind or that I am doing something wrong.  I don't give a damn what they or she thinks but having to listen to it all the time is draining.  I never call her anymore and now she worries that something is wrong with me.

We found out a few days ago that baby number two, Pumpkin, is on the way.  We are not telling our families.  I don't want any more stress.  In fact, I shouldn't be stressing out at all but I just feel like all this pressure is on me... even though I don't agree with their ideas.  I just don't want to hear it anymore!  Oh, and I've told them not to mention it anymore... they still do.  What else can I do?  How can I relax when I know we have to go on this trip?

{EDIT} I just got off the phone with DH.  He is so wonderful!  He told me to sit on the couch (now that LB is napping), drink some water, then lay on the floor and do some gentle stretches.  He said that we are going to see his grandparents so they can meet their only great grandson and everyone else (including my mom) are just lucky to see us.  We are traveling down there as a courtesy to them and they had better be thankful we came so they can see LB.   It's good to hear that from someone else and to know I'm not being a heartless, selfish person.

Now, how can we make this trip fun instead of stressful?
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