Friday, November 5, 2010

Complete Emotional Wreck

This had better be PMS and not a baby on the way!  I can not stop crying!  Granted, it has been a rough couple of days.  I literally packed up and either threw out or donated my past and I still have more to go through.  My son is now learning to sleep sans binkie because I am sick of watching him purposefully throw it out of his crib and then cry about it.  Before I figured he was just young and testing the physics around him... but now, when we catch him playing with cords he throws them down and looks up at us like "They jumped into my mouth I swear!"  That little boy is learning right from wrong now and he knows we know!

So I had an emotional day, kissing away (sometimes literally) my past.  My husband is preparing for his upcoming deployment at work and he is stressed to the brim.  And LB is no longer allowed the comfort of his binkie after having thrown it AT me yesterday.  I got very little sleep last night.  I suppose that is reason enough to cry... but the catch is, things like this don't normally make me cry.  And especially not to the extent that I have been crying these last two days.  I am a complete emotional wreck.

For example, this video is HILARIOUS!  But... it had me laughing and bawling...
See?  Why should that make me cry?  I have no earthly idea.  It wouldn't normally make me cry.  I have to wait until next Thursday (Veteran's Day no less) to see if we are expecting or if I can go back on the dreaded birth control until DH leaves.  I am not looking forward to the depression that brings, but I also know full well I would be hard pressed to survive another postpartum depression without DH here to hold me and tell me its okay and remind me that I am a good wife and mother.
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